Online gaming has become a thing of the present. With the internet becoming a thing that everyone needs to function and hard to live without, online gaming has become an addicting pastime. Whether you are into gambling, or MMORPG like World of Warcraft, or you are into video games that have internet capabilities like Xbox live, you can instantly get hooked and forget about your studies. In this paper we will discuss what different types of online games there are and an example of each. First we look at the survey one of us created and how that corresponds to the addicting behavior of online games.
After looking at so much of what has been said about how college students play games, we felt that it was important to ask them directly a few key questions to better get a sense of how the reported information lined up to trends we see in direct responses from students. Through the Millersville University website’s ‘MyVille’ student portal (password required) we put out an online survey to learn more about the opinions of our fellow students. In order to focus our research and be able to help incoming students effectively, the demographic questions are the key to organizing the results. The age brackets helped us narrow down whether older incoming students that are still classified as underclassmen need the same advice as those who entered college directly after high school. Gender, especially correlated to what games our respondents are playing, helps to see how valid the default assumption is that more men play these games. These areas of online gaming are sometimes overlooked because of this belief. Asking about class, majors and living situations also add insight towards potential target groups within the student body. It is simple to assume that on-campus students, with easy access to high speed internet and living with other students, might be more prone to excessive online playing rather than commuter students living in a family setting. Making sure that is true, or finding out that it is not, is vital to proposing how to present advice on responsible gaming habits.
The last eight questions after the demographics are our gauge for comparing scholastic effort with game time. Any trends showing low responses to questions six, seven and eight with high responses to eleven, twelve and thirteen are particularly important for isolating target groups, because it represents someone who has responded that they are having a large amount of trouble balancing school and leisure. We decided to focus on opinion questions, rather than factual questions -- such as “How many hours do you spend studying each week?” -- this avoids asking potentially private information, such as grades. As well, opinions can also relay a more beneficial answer. If we notice a strong trend in emotional responses, we can connect incoming students to what matters.
We received thirty seven responses to the survey and after looking at the data, we came to two distinct conclusions. The first is that no single group within the demographics we examined reported significantly far from the total sample’s average. This means targeting specific groups, such as freshmen, on-campus students, or male students is probably likely to fail. The message of how to game responsibly will not be distributed equally to all the students that need it. There is a certain amount of risk in trying to draw out too much information from a small group, as there is a higher chance that the group simply is not representative and single individuals have more of an effect, letting them potentially skew numbers away from the popular opinion. However when we looked at the numbers, we found that they were relatively consistent, with the extreme ends of responses not seeming to draw the average away from the most popular responses.
The second observation we concluded from the survey is that the comparison of female students’ identification as a ‘gamer’ to their online playing habits shows an important trend. This trend is that women are far less likely to identify themselves as gamers - 6 out of the 7 who responded ranked heavily towards strongly disagree - even though they might be playing as often as men who rank themselves more towards being a gamer. This means that helping them with managing gaming needs to take into account that they are more likely to reject being labeled, while over half of the responding men considered themselves gamers (18 out of 30 ranked themselves as agreed or strongly agreed to being one).
World of Warcraft has become one of the most popular online games with millions of subscribers. That audience would include young kids, high schoolers, college students, or adults. WoW is the short term for World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft is an MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) in which players interact with others or play by themselves to complete quests and level up. This takes time to do and may take time away from the much needed studying of students.
There is one case where it took more than just time but the life of a teenager. The name of the teenager is unknown but in a article, the parents believe the suicide was linked to the video game of WoW. The addiction was the cause of the suicide and the result was the suing of the creators from Blizzard Inc. “The generally accepted medical definition of an addiction is; a habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control.” (Killing Our Teens, Crowell). From what the article is saying is that from that definition, the teen was unable to control his amount of playing time. That itself seems unreasonable because a person can still have control over playing a game and deciding when to quit. The reason for the amount of time may be from others online using “pressure” to keep this unknown teenager online.
We could break it down on how this game could affect one's life. The first thing to do is to purchase the game either from the website as a download or buying the game from some sort of store. After installing the game, you sign up for an account to be able to start actually playing the game. Once you are past that stage where you create your character(s) using a wide selection of styles. you wonder around the world of the game completing quests, meeting other players, selling/buying items, or going on raids with groups of people. That was just a short list of all the possible things to do within the game. From that you can see how people can get attached to the game. Some people view it as a way to escape from the real world and control their own character in the fictional world.
Xbox Live is another online service created and provided by Microsoft for use on its Xbox 360 video game console. It allows users to interact with other users for a low subscription fee. Subscribers can play various games with or against each other. The service also lets users download television shows, movies, arcade games and themes for their consoles dashboard. Subscribers are required to pay for their purchases with Microsoft points, which can be added to one’s Xbox Live account through payment from either a credit or gift card. Xbox Live has become very popular, as of January 2008 over ten million users had subscribed to the service (Callaham).
Part of this success can be attributed to the addictive nature of online gaming. Titles such as Madden 2009,Gears of War 2, and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare offer competitive ranking systems. These ranking systems require the user to compete in multiple matches in order to increase their rank. To keep track of one’s rank, there are leader boards for most games. Users can keep track of their standings, compare their game performance with friends, and see how they compare to other gamers around the world. As one would expect, these ranking systems can become very addictive. Gamers are constantly trying to outdo their peers for bragging rights. In order to improve their standing on the leader boards, users are required to log a considerable amount of time into gaming. For example, the number one player at Gears of War has logged nearly three days worth of playing time online since the game was released on November 7th, 2008 (Gears of War Webstats). According to an article in the Bowling Green student newspaper, the average gamer puts over six hours a week into gaming (Harvey). The article went on to state that the fastest growing demographic amongst gamers is college age students.
A larger number of Xbox Live users are college students. Using the Xbox’s wireless internet adapter, students can easily gain access to Xbox Live. This easy access is attributed to the free wireless internet access offered by many colleges. Use of Xbox Live can infringe upon a student’s study time and have a negative effect on their Grade Point Average. In a comprehensive research project done for the Pew Institute, Steve Jones and his assistants found that 48% of college students surveyed said that videogames keep them from studying at times (Jones). It is very easy for a college student to put down their text books and become immersed in Xbox Live. One has a world of entertainment at their fingertips when accessing Xbox Live. Playing competitive videogames, chatting with friends, and watching movies are all very fun things to do. The problem is when students let their videogame time intrude upon their study time.
Online teams, or clans in certain video games, are another place where students can get sucked in to. A clan is known as “a group of players who regularly play together in multi player games.” These clans generally start as a small group of people that play together under one name. They may grow into whole communities with their own website and more. However, all of this is minor compared to the amount of time taken up when one of these clans decides to become an E-sports team. E-sports teams are teams that join an official league (just as someone who would join a league for a sport such as soccer) and compete with other teams. Everything is set up like a regular sport, with an official season and playoffs. The problem with this kind of environment is that teams get very competitive and spend more than a healthy amount of time trying to better themselves and the team at the game.
There are various levels in which a team can play (compared to minor league baseball, AAA and AA and so on depending on the players/teams skill). Most clans that start off will have to enter into the lowest category and work their way up. In order for a team to be good, teamwork is generally the most important aspect for the clan/team. Therefore, a tremendous amount of time is generally put into the team playing and working together. Practices are scheduled and required for teammates to attend or they will be kicked out. This puts a lot of pressure on the members to open up certain times in their day to be able to go to their computer and play. One can easily see how this could affect a student who needs to study for an exam one night and being forced to play a video game instead.
Not only does this competitive style of play take up large amounts of time, it can also put a great deal of stress on someone. The team is relying on the member to play well and do everything that he or she is told to do. The most stressful time would be during the actual season that the team is playing in. Much more time must be devoted to the team once this begins, and could hurt that persons social life and grades. Instead of concentrating on friends, family, and school the student may become completely involved in the game and not think about anything else.
Online gambling is another type of addictive online gaming. College students love to gamble. Ninety-one percent of college men and eighty-four percent of college women have said that they have gambled. (PIP_College _Gaming) With the internet providing such an easy outlet for students to access legal gambling sites, these numbers are not overly surprising. The growing popularity of Texas Hold ‘Em is due in many ways to all of the air play it gets on TV. This is likely one of the reasons gambling has increased and become such a problem. With multiple sites offering individuals the opportunity to gamble, students can effortlessly click into any of these sites and get hooked.
Almost all of the socializing websites that many college students use (i.e. Facebook and MySpace) advertise legal gambling internet sites. This is a great strategy for the gambling websites because as students continue to log on to Facebook, MySpace, and other social sites to interact with their friends from high school and their current classmates, the gambling websites are getting more exposure. Students might log on with the idea they can go onto these sites and spend time playing games with their friends for the play money chips that are provided, but, most of these sites are set up so that when people are playing with the play chips provided, the odds of getting a good hand and winning are in the players’ favor. Students then often get a false sense of confidence that they are better gamblers then they really are. With this false sense of confidence, they might pursue the idea of playing with real money; and thus, the online gambling world has drawn them in.
Again let's go back to the popularity of the televised poker. Students watch many poker stars living the dream life of playing cards all day, every day. They also see twenty-something kids - kids their own age - winning the World Series of Poker and becoming millionaires. Many students reflect on the success of their “peers” on TV and wonder if they could accomplish the same. Therefore, they have not only found access to these gambling sites and received a false sense of confidence from these sites from playing with play money and winning, but now they have also seen the possible glory they could potentially have. These factors all contribute to the phenomenon of students getting drawn into gambling with real money on the internet.
Here is where the problem starts. A college woman is quoted: “It’s 2 a.m. I’ve got an economics exam very early in the morning. I can stay on for just one more tournament. This time I can win. I can feel it. I need to make up for what I lost today. I absolutely have to. Maybe I could buy a new outfit for this weekend or put a little bit of money towards my credit card bill. I can feel it, this is the one. Come on, aces, aces.”(Patrizi,My College Addiction) Obviously the game hooks college students like a bass master champion. What starts as a way to interact with other students and friends can turn into choosing between your future education or a lifetime of remorse and credit card debt.
Due to the fact that online gambling is made so easy, more and more college students are falling into debt. This is not the student loan debt that most of us are pretty familiar with. This is a debt that can be much larger than student loan debt, much harder to get out of than student loan debt. It is a debt that will not only affect the present finances of these students, but it will undoubtedly affect their lives for years and years to come. So, while these sites may be fun and make it easier to hang with friends, students need to be aware of the consequences and make sure to use good judgment when it comes to laying a credit card number down or folding their pocket Aces. .
As you can see there is a variety of different online gaming venues. They range from Role playing games like World of Warcraft, to Xbox live, to online gambling. We have put out a survey and hope to find the results that some college students are waiting for, which is how online gaming has affected everyone.
What is the thesis? Type out the thesis you find in the paper in your own words; it will help you see whether the writer's main insight is made sufficiently clear.
The thesis of this paper is since on-campus students have access to high speed Internet and are outside of a family setting, they may choose to spend their free time playing online games, but they need to learn responsible gaming habits. The thesis seems to deal primarily with how gaming affects students and their scholastic habits: how much they study, how often they go to class, and the detriments to these two activities stemming from the internet. The thesis statement is a bit absent from the introduction, but this is primarily an organizational issue, and an additional paragraph or two at the beginning would do well in relieving this issue.
How is the essay organized? Describe in three or four sentences how the essay is organized. This will help you determine if the structure was clear.
The essay is very informative and describes how it will use an on-line survey to determine college student's on-line gaming activities and explains different games and their possible negative lifestyle effects. It is easy to follow and flows well from paragraph to the next. There are a few areas that need some work. More elaboration and clearer writing is needed, especially in the first, second and final paragraphs. Once the survey is completed, a chart or a picture of the survey would be helpful. It is a rough draft, and I can see it has a little ways to go before it's completely done, but the vast majority of the organization is complete, if in need of a slight rearrangement to bring the thesis to the foreground, and possibly rectify their chronological bloopers (at the end of the paper, it mentions putting out a survey, but the paper starts with that selfsame survey). I can see this essay moving towards a clear and concise end product.
Was the organization logical? Was this the best way the writer could present their information?
The order in the paper maintains good separation as in each part only has facts pertinent to that part. I could not identify a strong thesis so it was hard to watch for a logical flow as it relates to the thesis. The writing is logical with plenty of background information.
Were any parts not relevant to the thesis? As a reader did you pause to wonder how a statement or paragraph was related to the thesis?
It seems the thesis is still a working idea pending the survey results so this is hard to answer. All the information pertained to the general idea of online gaming and also to what kind of impact it has on students lives. The essay did a very good job staying on topic -- nothing seemed to wander too far from it.
What examples and types of evidence were most convincing? Did the essay engage your emotions and appeal to your experiences in appropriate ways?
The most convincing part of the essay was the use of many topics. The paper talked about online gambling as well as other types of online games, not just one specific game. I would have liked to see the results of the survey, not just an explanation of the format. I believe the study was the most convincing piece of evidence, although the support from other angles did very well in further persuading me as a reader.
What two places could use more development? Which places in the text need more evidence, examples, explanation.
The most convincing part of the essay was the use of many topics. The paper talked about online gambling as well as other types of online games, not just one specific game. I would have liked to see the results of the survey, not just an explanation of the format. I believe the study was the most convincing piece of evidence, although the support from other angles did very well in further persuading me as a reader.
Did the introduction catch your attention? The writer was probably writing about a topic that already interests them, so did they communicate that interest to you?
Yes, they created a survey that was sent out to Millersville students through their Myville account. They also stated clearly what the paper was about. I would elaborate more on giving advice to the students in their essay. The introduction did catch my attention because I wanted to learn more about the research being conducted, but I thought the introduction could have started off with more background about the topic. It kind of just jumped right in and started talking about the research. It was interesting because although I live on campus, I do not play online games so it was good to see examples of how other students participate in online gaming.
Online gaming has become a thing of the present. With the internet becoming a thing that everyone needs to function and hard to live without, online gaming has become an addicting pastime. Whether you are into gambling, or MMORPG like World of Warcraft, or you are into video games that have internet capabilities like Xbox live, you can instantly get hooked and forget about your studies. In this paper we will discuss what different types of online games there are and an example of each. First we look at the survey one of us created and how that corresponds to the addicting behavior of online games.
After looking at so much of what has been said about how college students play games, we felt that it was important to ask them directly a few key questions to better get a sense of how the reported information lined up to trends we see in direct responses from students. Through the Millersville University website’s ‘MyVille’ student portal (password required) we put out an online survey to learn more about the opinions of our fellow students. In order to focus our research and be able to help incoming students effectively, the demographic questions are the key to organizing the results. The age brackets helped us narrow down whether older incoming students that are still classified as underclassmen need the same advice as those who entered college directly after high school. Gender, especially correlated to what games our respondents are playing, helps to see how valid the default assumption is that more men play these games. These areas of online gaming are sometimes overlooked because of this belief. Asking about class, majors and living situations also add insight towards potential target groups within the student body. It is simple to assume that on-campus students, with easy access to high speed internet and living with other students, might be more prone to excessive online playing rather than commuter students living in a family setting. Making sure that is true, or finding out that it is not, is vital to proposing how to present advice on responsible gaming habits.
The last eight questions after the demographics are our gauge for comparing scholastic effort with game time. Any trends showing low responses to questions six, seven and eight with high responses to eleven, twelve and thirteen are particularly important for isolating target groups, because it represents someone who has responded that they are having a large amount of trouble balancing school and leisure. We decided to focus on opinion questions, rather than factual questions -- such as “How many hours do you spend studying each week?” -- this avoids asking potentially private information, such as grades. As well, opinions can also relay a more beneficial answer. If we notice a strong trend in emotional responses, we can connect incoming students to what matters.
We received thirty seven responses to the survey and after looking at the data, we came to two distinct conclusions. The first is that no single group within the demographics we examined reported significantly far from the total sample’s average. This means targeting specific groups, such as freshmen, on-campus students, or male students is probably likely to fail. The message of how to game responsibly will not be distributed equally to all the students that need it. There is a certain amount of risk in trying to draw out too much information from a small group, as there is a higher chance that the group simply is not representative and single individuals have more of an effect, letting them potentially skew numbers away from the popular opinion. However when we looked at the numbers, we found that they were relatively consistent, with the extreme ends of responses not seeming to draw the average away from the most popular responses.
The second observation we concluded from the survey is that the comparison of female students’ identification as a ‘gamer’ to their online playing habits shows an important trend. This trend is that women are far less likely to identify themselves as gamers - 6 out of the 7 who responded ranked heavily towards strongly disagree - even though they might be playing as often as men who rank themselves more towards being a gamer. This means that helping them with managing gaming needs to take into account that they are more likely to reject being labeled, while over half of the responding men considered themselves gamers (18 out of 30 ranked themselves as agreed or strongly agreed to being one).
World of Warcraft has become one of the most popular online games with millions of subscribers. That audience would include young kids, high schoolers, college students, or adults. WoW is the short term for World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft is an MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) in which players interact with others or play by themselves to complete quests and level up. This takes time to do and may take time away from the much needed studying of students.
There is one case where it took more than just time but the life of a teenager. The name of the teenager is unknown but in a article, the parents believe the suicide was linked to the video game of WoW. The addiction was the cause of the suicide and the result was the suing of the creators from Blizzard Inc. “The generally accepted medical definition of an addiction is; a habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control.” (Killing Our Teens, Crowell). From what the article is saying is that from that definition, the teen was unable to control his amount of playing time. That itself seems unreasonable because a person can still have control over playing a game and deciding when to quit. The reason for the amount of time may be from others online using “pressure” to keep this unknown teenager online.
We could break it down on how this game could affect one's life. The first thing to do is to purchase the game either from the website as a download or buying the game from some sort of store. After installing the game, you sign up for an account to be able to start actually playing the game. Once you are past that stage where you create your character(s) using a wide selection of styles. you wonder around the world of the game completing quests, meeting other players, selling/buying items, or going on raids with groups of people. That was just a short list of all the possible things to do within the game. From that you can see how people can get attached to the game. Some people view it as a way to escape from the real world and control their own character in the fictional world.
Xbox Live is another online service created and provided by Microsoft for use on its Xbox 360 video game console. It allows users to interact with other users for a low subscription fee. Subscribers can play various games with or against each other. The service also lets users download television shows, movies, arcade games and themes for their consoles dashboard. Subscribers are required to pay for their purchases with Microsoft points, which can be added to one’s Xbox Live account through payment from either a credit or gift card. Xbox Live has become very popular, as of January 2008 over ten million users had subscribed to the service (Callaham).
Part of this success can be attributed to the addictive nature of online gaming. Titles such as Madden 2009, Gears of War 2, and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare offer competitive ranking systems. These ranking systems require the user to compete in multiple matches in order to increase their rank. To keep track of one’s rank, there are leader boards for most games. Users can keep track of their standings, compare their game performance with friends, and see how they compare to other gamers around the world. As one would expect, these ranking systems can become very addictive. Gamers are constantly trying to outdo their peers for bragging rights. In order to improve their standing on the leader boards, users are required to log a considerable amount of time into gaming. For example, the number one player at Gears of War has logged nearly three days worth of playing time online since the game was released on November 7th, 2008 (Gears of War Webstats). According to an article in the Bowling Green student newspaper, the average gamer puts over six hours a week into gaming (Harvey). The article went on to state that the fastest growing demographic amongst gamers is college age students.
A larger number of Xbox Live users are college students. Using the Xbox’s wireless internet adapter, students can easily gain access to Xbox Live. This easy access is attributed to the free wireless internet access offered by many colleges. Use of Xbox Live can infringe upon a student’s study time and have a negative effect on their Grade Point Average. In a comprehensive research project done for the Pew Institute, Steve Jones and his assistants found that 48% of college students surveyed said that videogames keep them from studying at times (Jones). It is very easy for a college student to put down their text books and become immersed in Xbox Live. One has a world of entertainment at their fingertips when accessing Xbox Live. Playing competitive videogames, chatting with friends, and watching movies are all very fun things to do. The problem is when students let their videogame time intrude upon their study time.
Online teams, or clans in certain video games, are another place where students can get sucked in to. A clan is known as “a group of players who regularly play together in multi player games.” These clans generally start as a small group of people that play together under one name. They may grow into whole communities with their own website and more. However, all of this is minor compared to the amount of time taken up when one of these clans decides to become an E-sports team. E-sports teams are teams that join an official league (just as someone who would join a league for a sport such as soccer) and compete with other teams. Everything is set up like a regular sport, with an official season and playoffs. The problem with this kind of environment is that teams get very competitive and spend more than a healthy amount of time trying to better themselves and the team at the game.
There are various levels in which a team can play (compared to minor league baseball, AAA and AA and so on depending on the players/teams skill). Most clans that start off will have to enter into the lowest category and work their way up. In order for a team to be good, teamwork is generally the most important aspect for the clan/team. Therefore, a tremendous amount of time is generally put into the team playing and working together. Practices are scheduled and required for teammates to attend or they will be kicked out. This puts a lot of pressure on the members to open up certain times in their day to be able to go to their computer and play. One can easily see how this could affect a student who needs to study for an exam one night and being forced to play a video game instead.
Not only does this competitive style of play take up large amounts of time, it can also put a great deal of stress on someone. The team is relying on the member to play well and do everything that he or she is told to do. The most stressful time would be during the actual season that the team is playing in. Much more time must be devoted to the team once this begins, and could hurt that persons social life and grades. Instead of concentrating on friends, family, and school the student may become completely involved in the game and not think about anything else.
Online gambling is another type of addictive online gaming. College students love to gamble. Ninety-one percent of college men and eighty-four percent of college women have said that they have gambled. (PIP_College _Gaming) With the internet providing such an easy outlet for students to access legal gambling sites, these numbers are not overly surprising. The growing popularity of Texas Hold ‘Em is due in many ways to all of the air play it gets on TV. This is likely one of the reasons gambling has increased and become such a problem. With multiple sites offering individuals the opportunity to gamble, students can effortlessly click into any of these sites and get hooked.
Almost all of the socializing websites that many college students use (i.e. Facebook and MySpace) advertise legal gambling internet sites. This is a great strategy for the gambling websites because as students continue to log on to Facebook, MySpace, and other social sites to interact with their friends from high school and their current classmates, the gambling websites are getting more exposure. Students might log on with the idea they can go onto these sites and spend time playing games with their friends for the play money chips that are provided, but, most of these sites are set up so that when people are playing with the play chips provided, the odds of getting a good hand and winning are in the players’ favor. Students then often get a false sense of confidence that they are better gamblers then they really are. With this false sense of confidence, they might pursue the idea of playing with real money; and thus, the online gambling world has drawn them in.
Again let's go back to the popularity of the televised poker. Students watch many poker stars living the dream life of playing cards all day, every day. They also see twenty-something kids - kids their own age - winning the World Series of Poker and becoming millionaires. Many students reflect on the success of their “peers” on TV and wonder if they could accomplish the same. Therefore, they have not only found access to these gambling sites and received a false sense of confidence from these sites from playing with play money and winning, but now they have also seen the possible glory they could potentially have. These factors all contribute to the phenomenon of students getting drawn into gambling with real money on the internet.
Here is where the problem starts. A college woman is quoted: “It’s 2 a.m. I’ve got an economics exam very early in the morning. I can stay on for just one more tournament. This time I can win. I can feel it. I need to make up for what I lost today. I absolutely have to. Maybe I could buy a new outfit for this weekend or put a little bit of money towards my credit card bill. I can feel it, this is the one. Come on, aces, aces.”(Patrizi,My College Addiction) Obviously the game hooks college students like a bass master champion. What starts as a way to interact with other students and friends can turn into choosing between your future education or a lifetime of remorse and credit card debt.
Due to the fact that online gambling is made so easy, more and more college students are falling into debt. This is not the student loan debt that most of us are pretty familiar with. This is a debt that can be much larger than student loan debt, much harder to get out of than student loan debt. It is a debt that will not only affect the present finances of these students, but it will undoubtedly affect their lives for years and years to come. So, while these sites may be fun and make it easier to hang with friends, students need to be aware of the consequences and make sure to use good judgment when it comes to laying a credit card number down or folding their pocket Aces.
.
As you can see there is a variety of different online gaming venues. They range from Role playing games like World of Warcraft, to Xbox live, to online gambling. We have put out a survey and hope to find the results that some college students are waiting for, which is how online gaming has affected everyone.
Bibliography:
Callaham, John. "Microsoft At CES: 10 Million Xbox Live Users; ABC And MGM Added To Video Marketplace." FiringSquad. 6 Jan. 2008. 20 Nov. 2008 <http://http://www.firingsquad.com/news/newsarticle.asp?searchid=18997>.
“College Students and Internet Gambling - StateUniversity.com Blog.” 20 Nov 2008 <http://www.stateuniversity.com/blog/permalink/College-Students-and-Internet-Gambling.html>.
Crowell, Hunter. "Killing Our Teens." World Of Warcraft Effects On Society. 21 Nov. 2008 <http://www.world-of-warcraft-gold.com/world-of-warcraft-effects-on-society.html>.
Day, Rob. “GetGosu Online Counter-Strike Tournaments,” GetGosu, <http://www.getgosu.com/show/CounterStrikeClanMatches>.
"Gears of War Webstats." Gears of War. 20 Nov. 2008. Http://gearsofwar.xbox.com/WebStats/default.htm. 21 Nov. 2008.
Harvey, Nick. "Are college students playing too many video games?" BG News. 21 Sept. 2007. Bowling Green. 8 Dec. 2008 <http://http://media.www.bgnews.com/media/storage/paper883/news/2007/09/21/forum/are-college.students.playing.too.many.video.games-2983009.shtml>.
Jones, Steve. "Let the Games Begin: Gaming Technology and Entertainment Among College Students." Pew Internet and Amercan Life Project (2003).
Patrizi, Lauren. “CampusProgress.org | My College Addiction.” 19 Jul 2005. 20 Nov 2008 <http://www.campusprogress.org/features/397/my-college-addiction/>.
"What is WoW." World Of Warcraft. 21 Nov. 2008 <http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/basics/guide.html>.
Team 1's feedback for Team 2's 4.1GP:
- What is the thesis? Type out the thesis you find in the paper in your own words; it will help you see whether the writer's main insight is made sufficiently clear.
The thesis of this paper is since on-campus students have access to high speed Internet and are outside of a family setting, they may choose to spend their free time playing online games, but they need to learn responsible gaming habits. The thesis seems to deal primarily with how gaming affects students and their scholastic habits: how much they study, how often they go to class, and the detriments to these two activities stemming from the internet. The thesis statement is a bit absent from the introduction, but this is primarily an organizational issue, and an additional paragraph or two at the beginning would do well in relieving this issue.- How is the essay organized? Describe in three or four sentences how the essay is organized. This will help you determine if the structure was clear.
The essay is very informative and describes how it will use an on-line survey to determine college student's on-line gaming activities and explains different games and their possible negative lifestyle effects. It is easy to follow and flows well from paragraph to the next. There are a few areas that need some work. More elaboration and clearer writing is needed, especially in the first, second and final paragraphs. Once the survey is completed, a chart or a picture of the survey would be helpful. It is a rough draft, and I can see it has a little ways to go before it's completely done, but the vast majority of the organization is complete, if in need of a slight rearrangement to bring the thesis to the foreground, and possibly rectify their chronological bloopers (at the end of the paper, it mentions putting out a survey, but the paper starts with that selfsame survey). I can see this essay moving towards a clear and concise end product.- Was the organization logical? Was this the best way the writer could present their information?
The order in the paper maintains good separation as in each part only has facts pertinent to that part. I could not identify a strong thesis so it was hard to watch for a logical flow as it relates to the thesis. The writing is logical with plenty of background information.- Were any parts not relevant to the thesis? As a reader did you pause to wonder how a statement or paragraph was related to the thesis?
It seems the thesis is still a working idea pending the survey results so this is hard to answer. All the information pertained to the general idea of online gaming and also to what kind of impact it has on students lives. The essay did a very good job staying on topic -- nothing seemed to wander too far from it.- What examples and types of evidence were most convincing? Did the essay engage your emotions and appeal to your experiences in appropriate ways?
The most convincing part of the essay was the use of many topics. The paper talked about online gambling as well as other types of online games, not just one specific game. I would have liked to see the results of the survey, not just an explanation of the format. I believe the study was the most convincing piece of evidence, although the support from other angles did very well in further persuading me as a reader.- What two places could use more development? Which places in the text need more evidence, examples, explanation.
The most convincing part of the essay was the use of many topics. The paper talked about online gambling as well as other types of online games, not just one specific game. I would have liked to see the results of the survey, not just an explanation of the format. I believe the study was the most convincing piece of evidence, although the support from other angles did very well in further persuading me as a reader.Yes, they created a survey that was sent out to Millersville students through their Myville account. They also stated clearly what the paper was about. I would elaborate more on giving advice to the students in their essay. The introduction did catch my attention because I wanted to learn more about the research being conducted, but I thought the introduction could have started off with more background about the topic. It kind of just jumped right in and started talking about the research. It was interesting because although I live on campus, I do not play online games so it was good to see examples of how other students participate in online gaming.